Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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