My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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