Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
