she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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