He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize