worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
