Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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