i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
