All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
