the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
we're making bets on your personal life
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
how does that bad decision feel?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
