U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
