her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize