3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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