Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
