i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
