So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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