It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
well you can't waste a boner
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
