You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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