dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
