Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
