you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
