weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
