clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
