no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
