I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she woke up with a sticky ear
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
