u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
