Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
whose parrot is this?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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