its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize