I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We need to feng shui this bitch.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize