You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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