i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
