Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
