I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
