Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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