I bet he comes in French.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
