i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Fuck me I smell like cheese
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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