you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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