She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
