You're my little dorito
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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