u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
