Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
