So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
honey bunches of taint.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
