Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
