Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
