I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
