i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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