after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
This is the high leading the old right now
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
