Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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