when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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