he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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