Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
vagina is talking i cant
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
