We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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