How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
