Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize