I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
