So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
