too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
