at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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