The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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