She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Randomize
