I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize