I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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