I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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