oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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