my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
